Friday, March 02, 2007

Sufficient is the day

One of the predictable things about cancer is that there never seems to be a shortage of things to worry about. Everything from the obvious and general (like when will the figurative piano dangling above my head finally drop) to the routine (whether my labwork will look good enough for me to continue chemotherapy, whether the next MRI will look good, whether I'm losing my keys more often than I should, whether the insurance company will finally pay for my treatment so I quit bleeding $25,000 every six weeks, whether my house will finally get organized, whether my son got in trouble at school and woke up crying in the middle of the night because he was worried about me, and whether I am losing blog readers because I've been posting less frequently lately). Then there is fun stuff, like whether my book will arrive from the printer on time, and whether it will have any typos. And whether I'll have enough time to meet with a bookseller during my trip to Chicago so it will be a partial tax write-off. And whether I'll have to wait until the last minute to know which Messiah solos I get to sing this Easter. And finally there is the idiotic: whether my roots should be touched up before our annual family photo, and whether my lack of sleep is damaging my immune system (it keeps me awake, which is really dumb).

As is typical, the scriptures came to the rescue. Sometimes things just pop up during my reading, right when they need to. Earlier this week we had some news that threw more worries on the pile (fortunately, not health news, at least). Despite having received a lot of training experiences that have helped me deal with worries a lot better, that unsettled feeling takes some effort to keep in check. It's all because my imagination is usually much worse than my reality. (The imagination cells in my brain are obviously still completely intact and functional.)

Enter the Sermon on the Mount, which has been the subject of our family scripture study at bedtime. Even though I had read it many times in both the New Testament and the Book of Mormon, the "consider the lilies" part took on special significance in the context of our day. What was especially nice was learning the interpretation of the final remark: "Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." The supplemental text that we were reading explained that there is enough trouble in one day. I guess even on a good day there is enough to deal with, and there is no need to take on the concerns of what may or may not happen tomorrow.

A couple of exceptions, of course. Always save for a rainy day. Emergency preparedness is a good thing. Wills and durable power of attorney documents are good things. Think before you speak, look before you leap, etc. Once in a while I remember a Seinfeld episode where Kramer did something really stupid and cried out, "I didn't think ahead!" We should think ahead.

Worrying about possible future tragedy is not useful, however. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. Sometimes what we worry about doesn't happen, so we waste energy and damage the immune system. Sometimes what we worry about does happen, and the pre-emptive stress doesn't offer much protection. We still can't really deal with hard stuff until it happens, so other than taking care of prudent things (like carrying an umbrella and wearing seatbelts), consideration of what the future might hold should stop far before worry sets in. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

In my experience, in good times and in bad, the morrow really does take care of itself. We do our best, and we get what we need when we need it. Someone knows us better than we know ourselves, and He knows how to guide and shape our lives and provide all that is expedient. Not all that we want right now, but certainly all that we need.

8 comments:

Kylie said...

Dear Krista, seeing as I am only reasonably new, I would love to know about your book, how can I find out more about it.

AND.. There is no need to tell you to stop and smell the roses, as I know you are doing that. But maybe, you need someone to gently remind you to do so.

Love Kylie xox

Faith said...

Hey, sweetheart, I check here every day. And when you don't post, I don't think, "I'm not reading her blog anymore, since she doesn't update!" No, actually, I worry about how you're doing, and pray that you're all right, and look forward to when you are able to update again.

You know I love you and that you're very often in my thoughts and always in my prayers. ((Hugs))

Faith

Leah said...

Whether it's daily or not, what you have to say is still inspiring and uplifting. I'm grateful you have the courage and inspiration to share and teach the deeper eternal principles that we can only learn through trial. My mom was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer around 1975. I was 10 yo.,so I have a childs perspective, and you are helping me understand some of what my mother must have been thinking at the thought of leaving her children. What emotions she was fighting as she struggled with pain. Too many things to mention.

My love and prayers are with you often as you walk along this path.

You are special indeed!

Anonymous said...

Adding to preparation, I still include wearing clean underwear in case you get hit by a truck.

krista said...

YOu haven't lost this reader...so one less worry there!

Anonymous said...

Krista,

Thanks for this post! Just what I needed to hear!

Have a great trip!

Teri - one of the gaggle members :o)

Anonymous said...

P.S.

Maybe I'm different than most or something, but when you don't blog as much, I just take it that you're doing so well that you're involved in a lot of other "life" things and just don't have quite the time to blog as much. I mean, of course I still pray for you and hope everything turns out wonderfully, but anyway...for what its worth.

Love ya!
Teri

Anonymous said...

Hi Krista!

I, like Teri, realize that when you are not blogging, you are out living life to the fullest. It's a sign that you are feeling fabulous and making the most of your day. I still check your blog almost daily.

I hope we can coordinate a trip to Utah during your book signing. It's about time for another girl trip.

Love ya lots!

Jeri