Tuesday, April 04, 2006

A Moment of Suspense

This is it - that first "how's it looking" MRI scan. I go in tomorrow morning, and I leave the MRI facility with films in hand and take them directly to my oncologist. I'll know pretty quickly how things look. They have all the prior scans, including the ones that were done during radiation treatment, so they will know all about the "area of concern" and whether it looks the same now.

Based on my clinical performance, the expectation is that the scan will be good. I hope they are right. It would mean smooth sailing for our upcoming Disney trip. For my upcoming Messiah performance. For, you know, LIVING and stuff. And then I start my maintenance regimen of chemo and we keep on monitoring unless/until we find something to deal with.

This is another big prayer moment, and another nervous moment. I keep telling myself, "IT IS WHAT IT IS." This is just a matter of finding out so we can deal with whatever we need to deal with. Or hopefully just a matter of finding out that it's okay for now, so I can have that peace of mind. There will be many big prayer moments and many nervous moments. I have to remember how to ride these in a way that will keep me from going nuts. It is what it is...it is what it is...it is what it is...

Let's just hope that it is...good news!


Faith said...

((Hugs)) Krista. I'm praying for good news!!

Kari said...

Hoping and praying for accurate and positive news tomorrow!!!

You have been in my thoughts!!

Anonymous said...

Fingers, Toes, legs, arms and eyes crossed...along with a prayer in my heart for you.

I can't wait to hug you in person. See you in 2 days!

Love ya tons!


Lisa said...

I have been wanting to write to you for some time now and after reading your post today I wanted to give you something positive to think about as you prepare to hear your latest MRI results.

My husband has Glioblastoma. Of course EVERYone is different...just as you wrote...we are all like snowflakes in the way that we are all unique, but I wanted to share with you that he was diagnosed in December of '02.

To summarize, he had two surgeries within the first 6 months, tried two different types of chemo, did radiation...then after careful consideration, went off all treatment in May of '04.

It is now April of '06 and he is doing fine. Yes, we have some not-as-good days, but overall he is doing awesomely well. He is very active still. He even goes on walks--sometimes 1 or 2 miles a day...and he is HAPPY. That is the most important part. WHY is he happy? Because the day he was diagnosed with a brain tumor we sang the Beatles song named "Let it Be" in Church that day (unusual song to sing in Church -- but everything happens for a reason!) But since that day he has truly lived that mantra. LET IT BE. His trust in God has never faltered.

God knows his heart and knows that he means it when he says he would rather this happen to him since he KNOWS he is going to Heaven than for it to happen to someone else who doesn't know yet if they are.

I read your posts very often. They are very inspiring. Keep trusting God. He has a Plan. We may not know exactly what the Plan is but that is okay. That is what Faith is all about.

You and your family are in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for sharing your experience, Krista. It has helped my dad and my family as he battles GBM.

ps I bought some Mary Kay stuff today, just like you said :)