It's so much more fun to give glowing reports of happy news, and I've been lucky to have lots to share. But let's face it - cancer sometimes has its bad news moments.
My blood cell counts have crashed. I don't know all the details, but I'm neutropenic (very low white cells - very vulnerable to infection) and the other stuff is "pretty low". I was in an audit all day and so the nurse relayed the message to my husband, who did his best to capture the salient points without knowing all the detailed questions I would normally ask.
It's almost like my body kept hearing me brag about how I'm at the end of a twelve-cycle treatment regimen, and said, "Wow - I've had THAT much chemotherapy?? I guess I should be sick by now!" I wouldn't be surprised at all if I suddenly woke up bald, if my body lets my hair in on the secret.
These lab results were from a blood draw on Friday. Since Friday I've eaten lots of raw fruits and veggies, and I've shaken many hands. I spent most of Friday night and Saturday morning in our filthy garage, getting ready for our neighborhood garage sale and getting lots of bruises (thanks to low platelets) and exposure to unimaginable germs. Who knows what I could possibly be incubating at this moment. Sleep deprivation and a busy/stressful week do not help, either.
(Quick -- tell me a joke, because laughter boosts the immune system!)
I'm hopeful that next week's MRI scan will be good, so that treatment won't be necessary. If that's the case, then I just need to be the bubble girl and avoid surviving glioblastoma by dying of a freak infection.
It's a prayer moment!