Between a Rock and a Rock

I passed my neuro tests yesterday with flying colors: "an A+", they said, plus extra credit for being able to walk on my heels with backless wedgies on! Considering the nature of the tests (which always make me feel like I am on an episode of COPS), I am also officially sober (which is no surprise, considering that I have never had a drop of anything that would make me otherwise)! I was poised and ready to start my next 5-day blast of high-dose chemo.

This morning it was called off. I got the results of my blood tests. The chemo has finally attacked my bone marrow (a common side effect), and my white blood cells and neutrophils have dropped below normal ranges (WBC=2.8/should be at least 4; ANC=1456/should be at least 1500), putting me at higher risk for infection. I was told to practice good handwashing and avoid obviously sick people as my primary precaution. And I can't start my 5-day chemo dose this month until things improve. We'll check again next week, in the hopes of being able to start then.

This is one of those "between a rock and a rock" moments that my doctor told me about a while ago, when we discussed the possibility of this very scenario. I asked about the risks of postponing chemo treatment, and she said that the alternative is an imminent threat of dying from a serious infection. Between a rock and a rock. Deal with the immediate threat as best as we can, and then we'll go back to the other threat (which hopefully won't have increased in urgency in the meantime).

Well, you know, in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus warned against using vain repetitions in prayers. I know that doesn't mean you can't sincerely ask for the same stuff over and over again, but I like the fact that this gives me some new material to keep things fresh!

And hey - gotta look at the good possibilities: considering what happened to my bone marrow, hopefully this means that the cancer cells in my brain are in even worse shape!