Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The List

One reason why I MUST survive this cancer, is that I just posted a glowing endorsement of my husband, who would become eligible for a potential wife #2 if he were to become widowed. (Yes, we are a FOR-EVVVVV-ER couple, but he could legally have another spouse to fill the temporary void.) He probably wouldn't have any trouble finding some companionship and a stepmother for the children, but I'd rather it be me instead!

We started a thing long, long ago (long before we knew this would ever become a reality), whenever my husband would express the desire to try some kind of daredevil activity, like skydiving or rock climbing or doing fighter jet training or buying a motorcycle. I would never let him do those things. Instead, I would say, "Put it on the list."

"The List" was a list of things that he could do after I died, to keep him occupied without having to remarry. (And my real motivation was that it would hopefully hasten our reunion!) It was kind of just a joke thing. It's kind of icky now to think that maybe the list might be relevant. Of course, now the biggest consideration is for the children. He certainly can't orphan the children, so the list is off limits! (Darn - which brings us back to a second wife.)

I trust my husband completely. He has my power of attorney for all things, including my healthcare. He can choose to pull the plug if it ever gets to that. I told him that I wanted him to talk to my family, talk to the doctors, and then pray. I knew if he did those things, he would make the right decision. And I gave the same stipulations when it comes to remarriage. I didn't want to forbid it, nor did I want to encourage it. I trust him to do the right thing for our family. Get information. Pray about it. Make a good choice to bless our family.

Meanwhile, I am really hoping for the miracle, so that all of this remains theory instead of practical application!


krista said...

The irony is so sad. I have said such things to my husband about if I were to die and about remarriage, but never thought it would be a reality. I'm praying it won't be for you either. Years ago when I read "Charly" I never wanted him to marry anyone else but when I read "Sam" I was really rooting for him to do it. It must be such a conflict for you to face.

Amber said...

Wow, the tears are flowing. My dad was diagnosed with brain cancer (gioblastoma multiforme) four years ago this month. We had 2 1/2 really really good healthy years. This last year and a half has been hard. Pardon my pasting, just wanted to share part of my blog with you that's relevant.

But it's been a significant four years for our family. In that time I've had 3 children that I'd been told I wouldn't be able to have. Spencer got married, Katie had a baby, Sarah got married and had two babies, Sarah got sealed, Jessica graduated from High School, Hannah went on a mission and returned, Jessica got married, Sarah got sealed, Barbara graduated from high school, Rebecca and Angela grew from kids into teenagers. A lot has happened, I can't imagine him not being around for it.

I like your attitude. It will get you a long way. My heart is still breaking for your family though. You're now bookmarked as a favorite.